Vampires suck. Nobody knows this better than Nathan Sharp, the latest minion of Iris Augenblick, a Venetian vampiress who has been roaming the world in a centuries-old game of cat-and-mouse with her ancient Russian maker, Alexei, before finally settling in Chicago. Crossing fateful paths with Iris one night, Nate thought he’d found paradise, only to eventually see the bloody reality behind the nightlife of his undead mistress, and the cold brutality of vampire politics. The only thing worse than being a vampire’s victim is being their minion. And if you think serving one is hard, try leaving one behind and living to tell the tale. Part minion’s memoir, part fractured love story, part critique of vampirism itself, “Suckage” escorts you through the moonlit streets of Chicago and into the very darkest corners of the human spirit with audacious wit, horror, and humor.